So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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