Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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