apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
