you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
