Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
