I'm pants shitting drunk right now
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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