He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
