I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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