She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
