Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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