Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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