you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
