lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
