FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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