nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
