Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
