i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
