Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
