so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
