im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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