it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You are the jesus of drinking
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
