It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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