I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
