I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
3pm strippers are depressing
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
