the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
