Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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