my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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