Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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