Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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