Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
