summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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