Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
