at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
this hospital has no fireball
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
