If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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