No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
