Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
