You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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