He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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