Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
