Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
