Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
