did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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