so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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