1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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