Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
