Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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