i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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