just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
