you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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