I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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