She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
