Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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