Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
