hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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