This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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