Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
